my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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