I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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