just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
