How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
