she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
