I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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