I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How does one acquire holy water?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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