She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
