do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
