I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
