So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Mom said you looked used
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
