I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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