He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
