How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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