Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
