So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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