when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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