I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
