go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
