I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
