ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
