Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
