do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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