Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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