you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
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