I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
