I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
