is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
