sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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