The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
