Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
