I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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