"it" just moved
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
