You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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