I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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