Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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