I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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