The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
