Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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