He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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