You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
