Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
