His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
