it hurts more in the daytime
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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