No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
