Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
