Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
