So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
