I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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