your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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