Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
