Walk of Shame. In a state park.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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