first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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