I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize