And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
