I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize