I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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