Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
