I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
