How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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