you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
