Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you had me at cake vodka
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
