I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
