I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
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It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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