he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
