when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
