He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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